Children Need Guidance, Boundaries, and Accountability

Jerome D. Ryans, President & CEO - Tampa Housing Authority

There are moments in life that stop you in your tracks and force you to reflect on where we are
as a society. Recently, I witnessed one of those moments.

I watched a six-year-old boy tell his mother to "go to hell" because he did not want the
hamburger that had been purchased for him. The child was loud, rude, disrespectful, and
completely unbothered by his behavior. What troubled me even more than the words
themselves was the absence of correction. It was as though the behavior had become
acceptable.

That moment stayed with me because it speaks to a growing issue we see far too often today:
many parents are afraid to discipline their children.

Let me be clear, discipline does not mean abuse. Discipline does not require violence, cruelty, or
inflicting pain. Real discipline is guidance. It is teaching children respect for others, emotional
regulation, responsibility, patience, gratitude, accountability, and an understanding that actions
have consequences. It is helping children learn that the world does not revolve around their
emotions or demands.

Children thrive when boundaries exist. When children are not corrected, they can grow into
adults who struggle with authority, relationships, responsibility, and emotional control. We are
witnessing the societal consequences of this every day, disrespect in schools, violence in
communities, lack of accountability in workplaces, and increasing hostility in everyday
interactions.

A child who never hears "no" often grows into an adult who cannot handle disappointment.
Parents today face enormous pressures. Many are working long hours, facing financial
challenges, and trying to balance countless responsibilities. Parenting is not easy, and no parent
is perfect. However, love without structure is not enough. Children need affection, but they also
need correction, and many times need to hear "no". They need to know that disrespectful
behavior is unacceptable, regardless of age. They need consistent guidance that teaches them
patience, responsibility, gratitude, and respect for authority and for others around them.
These are not just childhood lessons; they are life lessons. These lessons prepare children to
become productive citizens, strong leaders, caring parents, and respectful members of society.
Discipline helps prepare children for real life, where there are expectations, standards, and
consequences for behavior. We cannot continue to excuse harmful behavior simply because a
child is young. Early childhood is precisely when character is formed. If we fail to teach children
respect and accountability at home, society will eventually attempt to teach those lessons in far
harsher ways.

As adults, we must stop confusing discipline with harm. A calm conversation, removing
privileges, setting firm rules, enforcing consequences, requiring apologies, and teaching respect
are all forms of healthy discipline. Children actually feel safer when expectations are clear and
consistently enforced.

At the same time, we must acknowledge that some parents simply were never taught healthy
parenting themselves. Some are doing the best they can with limited tools, guidance, or
support. But not knowing what to do cannot become an excuse for doing nothing.

There are parenting organizations, community programs, counselors, faith-based organizations,
and family support services that exist specifically to help parents learn effective parenting skills
and healthy forms of discipline. Seeking help is not weakness, it is wisdom. Strong parents are
not the ones who pretend to have all the answers. Strong parents are the ones willing to learn,
grow, and do what is necessary for the successful upbringing of their children.

That is my challenge to parents today. Do not surrender your authority because you are afraid
your child may become upset with you. Do not allow disrespect to become normalized inside
your home. Teach your children accountability while they are young enough to receive it with
love and guidance. Be intentional about raising children who understand respect, self-control,
gratitude, responsibility, and compassion.

And if you do not know where to begin, seek help. Accept responsibility and get pointed in the
right direction. Our children deserve parents who are willing to grow alongside them.
Our communities depend on strong families, and strong families are built on both love and
discipline.

The goal of parenting is not simply to raise children who are happy in the moment. The goal is
to raise children who are respectful, responsible, emotionally healthy, compassionate, and
prepared for life.

That requires courage from parents. It requires consistency. And it requires us, as a society, to
stop being afraid to hold children accountable for their behavior.
Because when we teach children discipline, we are not hurting them, we are preparing them for
a successful future.